ORIGINALLY POSTED IN 2012 ON focusonsimple.co
Once upon a time, I found myself “unemployed” for about two months.
I had been supplementing my EI “income” with some contract work. A few short stints with my former employer, the start of a new part-time gig, + a nice little piece of work for a larger client which I got hooked up with through my former employer…
Well, one day I had a meeting with the client + found that we were totally not on the same page in terms of understanding the scope of work, despite having sent a list of deliverables I would commit to at the outset of the project. The meeting was such a waste of time for both of us. I’m fairly certain we both left feeling frustrated and disappointed. + on my part, definitely huge feelings of FAILURE. Who do I think I am? How could I ever think I could do this on my own? Such an amateur, so naive…
You know.
+ pile that on top of all regular feelings of inadequacy, it was almost enough to make me want to drive the rental right off the highway on the way home.
Then! After that experience, I was included in some correspondence between a few of the different parties working on the overarching project (I was working on a small piece) + at the bottom of one of the email strings was an email from the client to one of the project managers, which stated – basically – that I wasn’t doing my job. Of course my former employer + colleagues had been copied on that email too. My heart just dropped. Reinforcing how naive I thought I was in thinking I could do this…
Here’s the thing, though – I WAS doing what I had stated I would do. An offshoot of this post would be one on the importance of clear communication. But what I realized was a) how much I have to learn, and
b) how I hadn’t been more assertive during the meeting.
I had let the client lead the meeting, + even though I had been clear about what I would be responsible for, what I needed from the client before the meeting, and what I was bringing to the meeting, I just let the meeting get away from what we needed to achieve.
Further realizations – it was my role to not just ‘do the work’, it was my job to be the guide + director – to understand what the client needs to do, how best to achieve their goal, + then to guide them to that goal. Because even if my understood scope of work was to provide a material result, that won’t be enough if the process is run off the rails by a lack of clarity + vision, communication + guidance.
So I followed-up with an email to the client to cover off on some of what we had established at the meeting, + to address her previous email to the project manager in an indirect way…to reiterate what I thought my scope of work to be, to reiterate what I could + could not be responsible for, + to address how I had thought the process was to unroll. First I talked to my dad for advice on how appropriate my email was (dad = indispensable source of advice)…which validated what I had been thinking/feeling…but still challenged as to whether I was actually capable of trying to do this on my own. + not just this project, but trying to piece together an income on my own.
“there’s no shame in failure — entrepreneurship has a massive learning curve“
I struggle with giving myself room to make mistakes. I hate not knowing things, I hate not having the answer, + I hate looking foolish…even though I pride myself on not being prideful :S
It’s just a little phrase…but in that little phrase is permission to move forward with boldness in order to achieve the bigger goal. When you commit to something, you’re committing to doing the best job possible + seeing it through to the end, knowing that it might be a bumpy, growth-ridden ride. Making mistakes is how you know you’re pushing past where you’ve felt comfortable existing, it’s how you know you’re growing. + growth is where the magic is.