GRATITUDE + PURPOSE

ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED IN 2015 ON focusonsimple.co

I have a great job.

My coworkers are fantastic. My office looks like it’s out of a movie (old building, brick walls, lots of light, miscellaneous team building games). I’m relatively good at what I do. I’m well liked (most of the time. I think.) I have a good relationship with my boss. We work regular hours, no over time is expected. There are the usual work-gripes, but overall everyone is happy.

+ yet.

I really hope it’s not what I do to the end of my days. I don’t feel deeply fulfilled by it. I don’t feel like I’m truly using my life for it’s best purpose, like I do when I’m writing or spending time with my son, or when I’m outdoors. It’s more of a superficial sense of value for the way it seems. How it might look to an outsider.

So I struggle with the guilt of feeling like it’s good (what on earth do i have to complain about???) but it’s not good enough.

I’m so grateful to have a job. To be fairly compensated for what I do. To be able to get up in the morning + have this job to go to. There are so, so, so many worse things…but is that the bench mark? There are worse things, so don’t aim higher, don’t desire more?

There is value in getting up. Going to whatever job you do. + working hard to do your absolute best. their is honour + value in that.

So that is what I do to the best of my ability. Some days are better than others.

+ on the side I write a little, create a little, explore the things that are truly satisfying. Get my purpose on, try to do something good with it, + with some hard work + grit I keep my fingers crossed that one day it’ll be something that I can do full-time.

It’s a struggle, more often than not, to balance gratitude for your blessings + to find peace in your existing day-to-day, while still desiring to live a life of purpose, passion, + soul-satisfying more.