One of my first influences for getting good sleep was the following: “Prioritising good sleep is good self-love“, a #truthbomb by Danielle LaPorte
But, before we dig into this, I want to first acknowledge how toxic the wellness / self-development community has been and is. And for good or ill, Danielle LaPorte has been part of that community. I have been part of this community, in the people I’ve followed, learned from, been influenced by, + in what I’ve created, written, and experienced.
So much harm is perpetrated by this community, especially when white women appropriate sacred cultural practices, monetise them, and profit from traditions once banned for the very people they came from by said white people. Colonialism. White supremacy. Original grifters. I’m not saying that this is what Danielle LaPorte is doing with this specific #truthbomb…however, it’s what I’m doing if I’m promoting it, and not redirecting to the work being done by other women who are Black, Indigenous, People of Colour.
A few references:
How White Nationalists Infiltrated the Wellness Movement
The Dark Side of Wellness
The Wellness-To-White-Supremacy Pipeline is Alive and Well
I’ve made mistakes in benefitting from experiences these practices (ex., yoga) and expect to be called out when I continue to make them. Like a grenade with the pin pulled, knowing at some point, systemic and internalised colonialism, white supremacy, racism, etc., will bust out. Intention doesn’t matter when the impact is harmful, and the work of decolonising oneself is ongoing and necessary.
Now, let me share why an intention to build good sleep habits is so important for this year. Good sleep is foundational to how you show up in the world, how well you can feel. Unfortunately, we often let, or have so many things get in the way. For me, it’s lack of consistency, and a habit of scrolling social media at the end of the day. For my husband, it’s health reasons*…annnd social media.
*We’re fortunate living in Canada we don’t have to worry about lack of resources and access to address his health issues. That’s not the case for everyone, and even within Canada, access to health care services can be impacted by remote areas and access to transportation within urban areas to even get to care. Sleep is foundational to wellness and when your barrier to foundational health and wellness like sleep is impeded by lack of access as a result of an imbalance of priviledge = further impact of colonialism and white supremacy.
I want to be rested so I can show up as my best self; for me, the vision I have for the year, my family, and for the work we’ll all be called to take on as we’re facing the tumultuous times ahead and the work that’s necessary in rooting out systems that are harmful to so many others. We’ll need community in place, and a resolve to do the right thing not the easy thing. The actions we want to take for change and positive impact will require the best of each of us; and we can only do that continuously and consistently when we’re taking actions of self-love to take care of ourselves.
Make Routines Simple + Enjoyable
My intention for good sleep is being made real by a solid bedtime and morning routine. A routine I look forward to, so it’s the more enjoyable choice when put up against scrolling on my phone in the eve, or snoozing my alarm in the morn. I don’t respond well to being told what to do, or the ‘shoulds‘ of life. I can want to do something of my own volition, but as soon as someone else comments ‘you should do XYZ‘, my autoresponse is ‘fuck you, don’t tell me what to do‘. So creating routines, systems, and experiences around intentions for my life and habits has been a critical.
These routines are nothing complicated, just what feels good and that I look forward to. And honestly, the best decision for bedtime was to take addictive social media apps off my phone. Now they’re only accessible via my laptop. I set alarms on my phone to tell me when it’s time to pack it in. Then it’s all about having lovely feeling pajamas, clean sheets, a good book to read, and calm lighting. Sometimes a cup of tea. It’s enticing enough that that’s where I want to be when I start feeling tired. And I’m starting to notice when that is, because I’m not distracted by social media for…hours. I will admit, though, the reels that popped up in that-meta-app discover feed in the middle of the night were the most hilarious.
A Simple Start To My Morning
Now, let’s talk morning routine. My friend. This is my favourite. The quiet hour in the morning before (hopefully) my child wakes and it’s breakfast, and lunch, and ‘is the dog fed‘, and ‘did you make sure she has water‘, and ‘yes you have to wear boots, it’s winter‘, and ‘did you make sure the dog has water‘, and ‘no, for real, is there water in the dog bowl‘…
But pending that…this is how my hour unfolds…
- Wake up. Stretch and savour the warmth of my bed.
- Get up. Glass of water while making coffee and setting the diffuser. 2-3 drops of peppermint and wild orange
*Yes, I like essential oils. No, I won’t try to MLM you.* - A few big stretches while coffee brews.
- Sit with coffee and journal: on life, gratitude, the day ahead, my vision and dreams for the future.
I’m super very introverted and highly sensitive and INFJ and etc., so quiet internal time to start the day makes a huuuuuuge difference for my wellbeing. I used to do it regularly, even with a small babe/child. Then I didn’t do it, sincerely, due to social media use. So now I’m trying to get back to it. Acts of self-love.
And that’s it! It’s not complicated or time consuming, but does it ever change how I frame my day. If you want something to take with you as a simple idea starter, grab the pdf below. It also includes a bunch of journaling prompts for clarity and self-discovery. Things I like to journal about…often.
Self-Discovery + Discomfort…a final word before you go.
A final word on creating routines that work for you…only you know what that looks like; the time you have, what feels good, etc.
Part of this self-love journey is one of self-discovery, and part of self-discovery is being in discomfort. Self-discovery in learning to trust your instincts and intuitions on what YOU actually need to thrive. Discomfort in that if you truly feel you do not have any time to take care of yourself, you have to start looking at who or what you have to say no to in order to prioritise your care.
We’ve become so distracted and disconnected we don’t always know where we’re struggling, and then once we do know, we don’t always know what we need to do to work through it. So we turn online and there’s so much content on how to do it better – where do you turn, who do you listen to, which process/action/routine/system/app/influencer will CHANGE YOUR LIFE – that when you choose a path and it doesn’t work as you want, it’s easy to get frustrated, disillusioned, shamefilled, for not being able to do it as advertised/instructed, and you’re right back where you started. Take baby steps, learn what you need and what works for you, because you are worth loving enough to be well rested and to thrive.
Between doing the work to weed out our own internalised colonialism and white supremacy to building/bolstering community around us to navigate what’s to come, we need to act in ways of radical self-love – which is its own act of resistance in a society that demands we do not truly care for ourselves – to have the strength, energy, resilience to do the work that’s necessary in the days ahead.