One year ago, roughly, the world changed. The immensity of seeing something impact people across the globe was, + is, almost incomprehensible. A collective trauma. Stripping bare so many inequities that have always been there, but which have been so easy to not see or pay attention to.
The human heart has a way of making itself large again even after it’s been broken into a million pieces.
Robert James Waller
Social media can be so toxic. But I’ve seen more posts in the past year than ever before that are able to articulate feelings + thoughts that are rattling around + feel hard to give shape to…about body positivity, racism + white supremacy, privilege…+ specific to this lil’ email, about the processing of all the experiences + feelings of this past year. Particularly as women. We carry so much. + most of the time…like 99% of it, it’s not by choice. We just do it. There’s this collective trauma, collective grief…+ yet the demands of life – kids, family, relationships, home, work – have not let up. Juggling all the things is hard in a ‘normal’ year, but this past year we carry that, plus the heaviness + processing of this year for ourselves, for the globe, plus for our kids + partners. It’s not new news that this is a lot. We all know it’s a lot. We all know it’s not sustainable. We’ve been saying it, + saying it, + saying it. It does feel like there’s light at the end of the tunnel, yet the future is the future, + we still need to process today + all the days of this past year.
I have felt overwhelm, burnout, my physical health has been so impacted this year. I’ve worked hard to…manage it. I know I’m not alone in this, which, even though it doesn’t make it all go away, it makes it easier to carry. So, in thinking of you, this absurd anniversary of when we started to retreat, I want to share every little damn thing that’s helped me this year. The lifelines. I’d love to hear yours. Create a collective lifeboat. These aren’t meant to erase or act as an antidote to this year…but we need to make space to process + heal. We’ve all been impacted in some way, + even the loss of expectations of how we thought this past year would look when 2020 started need to be honoured.
A little choose your own self-care adventure.
For real. If you are in need, seek out a professional to help guide you. I am not a counselor or health care professional in any respect. I needed to speak to a therapist through the fall + winter. She gave me incredible tools. + though we wrapped up before Christmas, I will return as needed. So, please…if you feel like a professional is outside your budget, have an honest conversation with your partner, check with a local family health team – the first time I spoke with someone it was a social worker through my family doc’s clinic. Do a google search for community supports – there’s one in London that is specifically for low-income community members. I’d be happy to help find something, if you need help finding something that works for you. Your mental health is important, + it’s so easy to feel overwhelmed by it all.
Every breath + every step can be nourishing.
Thich Nhat Hanh